30

Turning 25 back in May 2006 was a bit of a crisis . . . John and I were living in our tiny apartment in Biddeford, we had been married just about 6 months, I was working 3 nights a week, and 25 seemed so OLD. Back then I would have said that turning 30 was the point at which you just might as well give up the ghost because life was just about OVER and from then on you would just be trudging thru serious Adultville. (Of course, the year I turned 25 John turned 31, and he was as young as ever . . . not sayin' my theory made sense.)

But now?

30 is not the decrepitude that I thought it would be. Sure, I might feel crippled over with sciatica at the moment, but that is due to the relaxin coursing thru my veins because of Baby Libby #2 coming in another couple months. And the runny / stuffy nose and sneezing . . . spring allergies, not some sort of "Now You're Old" disease.

30 is confidence to do what I want to without being embarrassed or feeling silly. I just got back from using my "Free Entree" coupon at Davinci's Restaurant for lunch. I had a delicious caesar salad followed by some sort of chicken/pasta/cheese dish that was AMAZING. And I savored every bite of my meal over an hour and a half . . . all by myself. Me, Davinci's, and a good book. Best 30th birthday lunch ever!

At 20 I would have been mortified to go to lunch by myself, especially on my birthday. Such an occasion calls for a contingent! How embarrassing to have to go by yourself!

Well, at 30 it was wonderful to come home from church, put the Snuggler to bed for a nap, grab my book, say "Bye!" to John, and dash out the door for lunch. I didn't even invite anyone else to come along. I thought about it, very briefly, but really wanted to have a nice quiet lunch and finish my book. So I did!

Of course, turning 30 does call for celebration, and I am blessed to have a husband and mother who schemed together to plan a wonderful party, and friends and family who made my day-before-my-birthday Birthday Party such a blast.

Now, if you are reading this post looking for some sort of "And here is what I have learned and will now share with you in all my wisdom of 30-ness" . . . I'm sorry, but you will be disappointed. I am a little disappointed myself. In the back of my mind I had hoped that this morning I would wake up with some sort of epiphany, but really I looked at my watch and thought:

"6:45. The Snuggler's still asleep! Too bad I have to get up. Hey, it's my 30th birthday. I'm 30. Doesn't really feel any different from 29 . . . Well, guess I better try to get ready while the kid is still sleeping."

Not so much on the wisdom front.

But I guess if there are any ways that I can pinpoint this birthday being different from turning 25, it would be confidence and contentment. 25 was a crisis because I was lacking both. At that point I was still constantly looking forward to what was next. Not that I am always confident and content now, but I think I am maturing in those two areas. At least I hope and pray I am!

Of course there are days that I look around my house and say "I wish I had the money to do _________" or feel my confidence waver when I look in the mirror, but there is something to be said for hindsight putting life into perspective. I love the life that God has given me, and the people in it, and am grateful for where I have come from . . . and am looking forward to where I am going, one day at a time!