RSVP?

RSVP: French "respondez s'il vous plait," respond if you please; that is, a response is expected.

Emphasis on the word EXPECTED.

Five plus years ago when John and I got married I had my first experience with attempting to get people to RSVP. Before that I thought you sent out invitations and people would send back the little card (that I had so kindly put a stamp AND my address on for them) and we would know how many people to expect.

Ha! What a naive bride-to-be I was!

A week before the wedding I was making frantic calls to about half the list of invitees so I could get some sort of final head count to the caterer. And then of course some of the people that had said "yes" didn't show, which was awesome at $20 a plate.

I am going to be in a friend's wedding in the beginning of July, and the other bridesmaids and I are in the throes of shower planning. Now, you know what makes planning a shower easier? When you know how many of the 70 invitees are coming! Of course, if only 25 out of 70 respond, then you get to play really fun guessing games as far as how much food to make, how many tables to decorate, etc.

And the thing is, that when I have complained to anyone about the lack of response, everyone says "Oh, yes, it's terrible, people are so bad at RSVPing."

Well, when everyone agrees, who does that leave that is not RSVPing?! I'm so confused!

Last night I was enlightened a little bit when I spoke with the bride. Sort of. But it may have just confused me more. Apparently several people have not responded because they might be making other plans.

?????????

Really? You might make other plans that do not include coming to a dear friend's bridal shower, AND THEN YOU TELL THE BRIDE THAT?

Amidst my frustration, I have made a mid-year resolution (and this makes up for not making a New Year's Resolution) that I am a reformed RSVPer! When I get an invitation, I am going to pull my planner right out, and say "yes" or "no."

Of course, that has to take into account my current pregnancy brain. And my soon to come sleep-deprived-caring-for-a-newborn brain. My pregnancy brain recently managed to RSVP yes to a birthday party for one of Sophia's little buddies that I completely forgot conflicted with a prenatal appointment, despite having both a calendar and planner. And then I forgot to call to change my RSVP to no, and we just didn't show up.

I'm thinking it might have been better to just forget to RSVP in the first place.