Thursday, March 25, 2010

My very own drowned rat

(WARNING: Grossness to follow.)

I have grown accustomed to seeing gross things. As an ICU nurse I have viewed my fair share of OR-at-the-bedside-scenarios, more poop than you ever thought could be in one body, and any number of bloody, gory scenes. Doesn't faze me. Ordinary folks would wretch or keel over . . . I just keep eating my lunch.

Today, though, I discovered something that succeeds in grossing me out. Perhaps some of you have had a similar experience? Well, this was a new one for me.

Our tub has been draining a bit slowly lately. By "a bit" I mean that a 2-minute shower turns into a bath up to your knees. I had planned to pick up some Drain-O, but due to lack of a brain have forgotten it the last three times I was at Wal-Mart.

Today I headed in to take my shower after my run, but the thought of another shower-bath was not very exciting. Soooo, I decided to investigate.

Out come the yellow rubber gloves. Turn on all the lights in the bathroom. (I'm not sure why I thought all the light was necessary. In hindsight less is more.) Pull up the drain plug out of the tub.

Except it doesn't come out.

Hmmm. I readjust my position, pull harder. Twist. Pull again. No go.

I decide to try once more, give it all I've got . . . and it moves. Doesn't come all the way out, but an inch is a start.

Give one more fierce yank . . . GOOD GOLLY, MISS MOLLY!!!

The lower half of the drain plug has taken on the appearance of a fully grown drowned sewer rat! The lab rats from Anatomy and Physiology have got nothing on my little drain pet. I don't know why hair (from my own head!) looks so disgusting when it is all collected together and then pulled from the dank of the tub drain, but it is wretch-worthy.

I am mostly grateful that I thought to put on gloves before I tried this little experiment. That is the only way I could get that drain cleaned off and back where it belonged. Blech. You know when you give a little involuntary shiver when something is truly horribly nasty? Picture me hunched over the bathroom trash, yellow rubber gloves, shivering away.

One thing I have learned. I am good at some home maintenance tasks. I am awesome at vacuuming and decorating and cleaning the kitchen and organizing and any number of other tasks. Cleaning out the bathroom drain, though? That's a job for a man.



Kristin said...


For a minute there, I thought the gross thing was a certain snuggler's nasal mucus expulsions...

Megan Shorey :) said... are the bravest girl i know!! :)

Laurel said...

Thanks, Megan!

Part II of the story is that with my last furious yank I must have broken something . . . once I closed the drain and opened it again for Sophia's bath it stopped draining. For real.

Plumber arrives 7 a.m. tomorrow. I am hoping he can show me how to fish the rats out without breaking things.

Anonymous said...

It's about time something grossed you out!


Laurel said...

And P.S. #2 . . . I didn't break anything! The plumber was just here, and used the snake to get a clog out further down in the line. (I do think maybe that a chunk fell off when I pulled the drain out, but I couldn't help that!) Now I can actually hear the water drain, and see the tornado swirl, which we have never had here before.

Now that is the end of my gross tub drama. End scene.

Beth said...

Oh, ugh. Post-partum hair loss is AWESOME. Here is a positive spin: Be thankful that you cut your hair before Soph was born! Imagine how much MORE hair would have been in there if it were still long! Ha ha.

I try very hard not to nag Josh about anything, in general, but when the drain is clogged, I totally remind him on a daily basis until he does it because I literally CANNOT. I think I would rather change a gassy colostomy bag while in my first trimester of nausea. I gag SO hard when I see clumps of hair - and slimy, drain hair? Ew!

I need to go now.

amber said...

the fact that dave cleans my long, curly drain rats proactively and without complaining earns him the husband of the year award. makes me feel better that even munsell hair can take on that scary evil form.

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